Are you an expat woman looking for some support or guidance? You’ve come to the right place! This post has advice from my five years of living abroad that I’m sharing with my expat sisters today. ♥️
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Hey! My name is Nat, and I’m an American girl who’s been living in Beijing, China for five years!
This post (and this whole blog) is aimed at giving travel tips and resources to people, whether tourists or full-in expats.
Expat WomAn Survival Guide: My 10 Tips
Below are the Top 10 Tips I wish I’d known before becoming an expat woman at the age of 21!
Yep…I moved from the USA to China at just 21 years old, three months after getting my bachelor’s degree. It was kind of unexpected, though I’d visited China several times as a tourist which made the move less scary!
A LOT of life changes happen during your twenties…and I’ve undergone these changes while living abroad (I think I’ve only visited home for 6 weeks in total during these past 5 years).
So the advice in this post is real, practical, and targeted for my fellow expat girlies (whether single or with a partner!)
Let’s get right into it!
1. Become Your Own Advocate
When I moved abroad, I had a very hard time saying “no” to my workplace or to people in general. This often resulted in my time and emotions getting overloaded.
Without your friends and family around you to speak wisdom and balance into daily decisions, it’s up to you to stand up for yourself.
This can also go beyond setting boundaries at work or school. In your expat country’s culture, friendships may be formed differently, and social boundaries will likely be different.
Don’t be afraid to set social and relationship boundaries for yourself! As an expat woman, you’ll need to take a lot of self-responsibility.
If you really don’t feel comfortable with something, instead of thinking “I’m the foreigner here, I’ll just give in to what’s normal”, tell yourself: “I’m the foreigner here, so no one will blame me for having different expectations“, and take a step back.
@beabroadable
2. Determine Your Support System
When you move abroad, there’s a huge chance you’ll get hit with pretty big emotional obstacles. (I wrote a post about expat grief here, and one about expat guilt here!)
When you get hit with either of these difficulties, it’s easy to get emotionally paralyzed. That’s why it’s so important to have support established beforehand.
Having a friend or family member that you trust wholeheartedly, who is prepared to help you as you transition to your new role as an expat woman, is critical!
Trust me: setting this up BEFORE emotions hit makes things SO much easier. FaceTiming one of my besties is literally what pulled me through a major depressive episode I went through during my first year abroad.
My friend really stepped up to be there for me. I knew I could text her at any time of the day or night and she’d have my back, because she knew how important her support was during that time!
3. Improve Your Basic Life Skills
This is a fun one! (In my opinion!) Take this opportunity abroad to learn some basic life skills if you’re new to this living alone thing.
As a single, 21 year old expat woman, in my first year of living abroad I learned how to:
- Meal plan and cook;
- Build a healthy diet/exercise routine; (after growing VERY unhealthy in the first 6 months abroad)
- Assemble Ikea/other furniture;
- Change bathroom appliances like toilet seats & shower/sink fixtures;
- Handle under-sink leaks/U-pipe changes;
- Fix tile grout and caulking in a leaky bathroom;
- Fix and repaint dents in my walls;
- How to deal with black mold; (which can be dangerous to health…yikes!)
- Establish laundry & cleaning household routines;
- Host friends & cook for them! My fellow expat friends LOVED a home cooked meal!
And so many more things which would go on practically forever…but those are the main ones (clearly I had a problematic bathroom in my first apartment 😂 ).
Learn to be more hands-on so that you can take better care of yourself and your home! Embrace your independence, because the skills you learn while living abroad will last a lifetime.
4. Be Prepared for Difficulties (physical & mental!)
This one sort of has to do with Item #1 (become your own advocate), but it mainly has to do with the practical.
As an expat woman, you will face more risks when living abroad. Especially if you’re living alone!
Without a crowd of friends to hang out with, or a partner to watch your back, you’ve got to be prepared to look after your own personal safety.
When I moved abroad, my sister got me this personal alarm! You just rip the body from the keychain, and it emits an ear-piercing alarm. (Note: it can be hard to get pepper spray through an airport, but this alarm should be ok.)
Thankfully I’ve never had to use it–but it’s a great, travel friendly tool. Just make sure it’s SECURE when traveling. If it goes off in the airport, that would be a big scare! I put mine in my check-in bag, just in case.
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If that’s not your thing, then it can’t hurt to brush up on some safety or self-defense classes. Being accustomed with how to handle yourself in a difficult situation makes it SO much easier to handle it in the moment!
5. Exercise (& Make It Fun!)
Why is exercise on this list? For SO many reasons!
Exercise isn’t ONLY something that will keep you healthier and make your body less prone to injury (WHO LIKES HOSPITAL VISITS in a foreign country???). It’s also shown to have HUGE benefits for your mental health!
Here’s an easy and fun way to incorporate exercise: look into your expat country’s national sport, or local athletic hobbies, and join in!
If you’re not a group-exercise person (personally, I’m not. I like privacy!) then here’s a shameless plug for yoga, pilates, and calisthenics!! All you need is a yoga mat and YouTube, and you can do SO MUCH at home!
Since moving abroad, I actually got one of these travel yoga mats. It takes up SO little space compared to a traditional mat, and I’ve used it in on beaches, driveways, and parks in several countries!
It definitely is thin, but that’s part of why it’s so compact. I personally love it! Plus I got a super cute pattern.
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Don’t sleep on the benefits of exercise for your physical, mental, and personal growth. This is one of those everyday habits that literally can change your life for the better!
6. Actually Get To Know Your Expat Country!
One of the biggest losses for expats, in my opinion, is when they move away from home and then try to replicate their home lives abroad, down to every detail.
It’s a tendency we have, though! We move for the adventure, and find ourselves drawn to the familiar.
Do yourself a MASSIVE favor, and try to study your new country. Dedicate time and effort to learning the language. Visit local museums. Try to understand the culture as best you can.
Lots of people who live abroad don’t actually get well acquainted with their expat countries. It’s easier to stay in a bubble of familiarity than you’d think it’d be! Break out of that bubble! Be the expat woman you dreamed of!
Be the kind of expat that leaves an impression of being an avid learner, and who changes in wonderful ways as a result of all she’s learned during her time abroad.
@Beabroadable
7. Pick up A New Hobby
This is the time to reinvent yourself!! Pick up as many new hobbies as you can!
Here’s a list of some of the random hobbies I’ve tried (and in some cases, stuck with!) since moving abroad:
- Knitting
- Bass guitar
- Yoga (it’s a major part of my life now!!)
- Pole fitness
- Baking
- Acrylic/Gel mani’s and pedi’s
- Aerial hoop
- Reading (I read 1-2 books a year before…now I read 3-5 per month!)
- Singing
- Blogging (obviously 😉 )
I think there’s a few more, but those are the ones that come to my mind immediately.
Make the most of this time and start becoming someone that you enjoy living with immensely. Life should be exciting–and there are SO many hobbies one can choose from that involve minimal materials!
8. Find a Going Out/Staying In Balance
If you are moving abroad solo, then remember that you need to learn to live with yourself. If you focus 100% of your time on going out and meeting up with people, you won’t have time to devote to self-development.
Spend time making friends and socializing – this is SO so important when moving abroad!
But also make some time to enjoy activities on your own (and I don’t mean a night-in to just scroll TikTok or Instagram, even though there’s a time for that!). I mean time to journal, talk with family at home, and chill.
Take care of yourself, but also invest in the people around you. Find a balance, and make every interaction meaningful.
9. Find a Changing/Retaining Balance
When you move abroad, you are going to change. A LOT.
It’s important to recognize these changes (most of them will be good!) and to identify the things about you that SHOULDN’T change.
For example: living in China has made me a much more flexible and outgoing person!
However, it’s also made me lose my punctuality. People here aren’t so time-oriented as people at my home are, and I’ve adapted. It made things really difficult when I visited home!
Also, my love of Christmas isn’t something fostered well in China because they don’t have that holiday. In the last two years especially, it’s been a real struggle to do the Christmas things I love. It’s pretty sad!
Sometimes, when we go home, we may feel incompatible with our home country due to these changes (I talk about this and other negative aspects to moving abroad in this post).
Let your time abroad change you for the better. But also make sure to hold onto those parts of you that make you, YOU!
@beabroadable
10. Know WHen TO Push. Know When to Stop.
As an expat woman, there are several traits we MUST possess. Some of them include: outgoingness, independence, stubbornness, and perseverance.
These traits are what will get you through difficult seasons of living abroad. However, sometimes they can blind us to what we actually NEED to do.
Living abroad isn’t always as glamorous as we see on social media or in movies. In fact, it’s usually a lot messier, and can be mundane and dull when we aren’t traveling.
And sometimes, it can get to the point when we need to throw in the towel and make some life changes: either moving on, or moving home.
Going back to Point #2 on this list, make sure there’s someone in your life that you can bounce these big life decisions off of. Get a second and third opinion. Talk with expat friends (they’ve probably been through it too!)
Be all kinds of strong like you already are, but don’t let your desire to “power through” keep you somewhere that’s not beneficial for you anymore.
Final Thoughts
Moving abroad was one of the BEST things I did in my life. I’d honestly rank it pretty close to finding my life partner (whom I actually met while living abroad!).
The joys of being an expat woman (single for 3 years and with a partner for 2 and counting!) are immeasurable.
It’s difficult, nitty-gritty character development…which ultimately leads to a completely unique kind of beauty.
If you’re thinking about moving abroad, or you’re already on your way as an expat woman: WELCOME. I’m so glad we found each other! Please say hi in the comments, so we can get connected! ♥️
More Resources for my Expat Girlies!
Expat Women: Support & Love From A Sister Abroad
Moving Abroad RUINED My Life! The Downsides of Expat Living
Packing List Moving Abroad: COMPLETE List!
